Hi, I’m Darryn and I’m a wandering implementer of effective habits. By wandering, I mean that MOST of the time, I am very intentional about my thoughts, decisions and actions while at other times, well, I’m not. I’m the first person to offer sound advice to those in need, aid others in living consciously and mindfully, and then 10 minutes finding myself uttering words and statements that are not congruent with my affirmations and therefore stifle my spiritual development and growth. I’m literally amazed that I’m not living in a homeless shelter at this point for as much as I utter, “I wish I could afford to do that, or buy that, or have that.”
Recently, I’m starting to understand that as creators, we’re almost like carpenters–bear with me as I attempt to illustrate my point. If I can use an old home to represent old thoughts, you start seeing areas that need some revamping and a little TLC. Perhaps, the structure is dated, obscure, and okay, it’s probably hideous–what was happening in the 70’s is probably at this point falling apart, no longer serving the resident, and needs to be repaired, if not replaced. We can maybe do some superficial work, you know, like pick out a gorgeous color of paint to freshen things up a bit, change up the carpeting and flooring, tear down some walls and make the necessary upgrades. But often times, the superficial adjustments are just that: SUPERFICIAL. Paint wears. Carpet dulls. Empty space is meaningless if not utilized appropriately. What probably would have been best, though the most time consuming, would be to totally discard allllllllllll the unnecessary and rebuild that foundation. Our thoughts and beliefs are exactly the same.
A superficial thought, unlike an intentional thought is like the DIY of thought-forms. We digest the latest and greatest in self-development, we’ve watched The Secret, we’ve even read The Secret, and The Power, and The Magic; we write our affirmations, we state them 3 times in the morning, afternoon and evening; we shop the catalog of the Universe, visualizing our future home, our future car, our future vacation; we write in our Gratitude Journal and do our meditation and align with positive thinking. And, we pretty much do that until we don’t. And even when we are in that space, are we spiritually speaking fully there? We still find ourselves experiencing scarcity, feeling stuck, facing resistance and questioning this whole intentional way of living.
In order to ensure that our thoughts are not masked by the superficial, we have to treat our minds like we would that hideous home in dire need of serious TLC and fixing up. We can’t repeat affirmations if we aren’t ready to actually let go what is keeping us from reaching what it is that we really, really want. We can’t just record a few things in our Gratitude Journal because we’re supposed to, we need to really feel gratitude in our heart as that is more meaningful than jotting down a few awesome things that happened to you on a piece of paper. We owe it to ourselves to release the superficial and actually live with intention!
So, this brings me to my interpretation of Stephen R. Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People; although, I wish to illustrate 7 habits of highly-NON effective people:
1. A highly non-effective person is REACTIVE rather than PROACTIVE. Being reactive is constantly having a visceral reaction to events around them, feeling as if one is a victim, and not being assertive about the events in their lives.
2. A highly non-effective person does not visualize the full picture. If we can’t envision our goals and desires, we will never achieve such things. We must honor this experience by abandoning our linear way of thinking and running wild with our imagination, and painting this picture vividly in our minds, daily to actually manifest it.
3. A highly non-effective person does not understand the art of priorities. And as I’ve articulated many times, our biggest priority is honoring ourselves, and serving our needs first. The highly non-effective overextends, is easily drained and is not assertive enough to implement emotional and physical boundaries.
4. A highly non-effective person sees life as a competition and thrives on the opinions of others. Although it is wonderful to be affirmed by others, the highly non-effective person lives by this. This is a person who feels the need to start first and finish first, not collaborating with others or seeing the process as interactive and dynamic.
5. A highly non-effective person does not understand the delicate dance of listening. As communicators, we are constantly processing and formulating a response when often times, we are not hearing and truly listening to the person whom we are interacting with.
6. A highly non-effective person would rather ride solo than grow through the collective process. We’ve all encountered this kind of person, the person who just isn’t a team player or respects collaboration and cooperation.
7. And lastly, a highly non-effective person does not invest in themselves physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually and does not live their life with balance in mind.
At some point in time, we’ve all been the NON-effective person, but the amazing thing about habits are that they’re either meant to be broken, or, adversely, meant to be formed, so adjust this to your life accordingly. It is my hope that you form a new habit around breaking superficial thinking and living with intention by not mirroring my interpretation of the the 7 habits that are only stifling us from being our best.
I wish you well on breaking those superficial thoughts!
Love and many blessings,
Darryn K. Robinson, CWC
be + LIFTED Wellness Coaching
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